The Scotsman
 
Traditional
                                                         
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair, and one could tell by the way he walked that he drunk more than his share.  He stumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet.  Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh, ring di diddly I oh.
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
 
About that time two young and lovely lasses happened by and one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye, “See yon sleeping Scotsman so fair and handsome built.  I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt?”
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh, ring di diddly I oh.
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt.
 
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be and lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.  And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt, was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh, ring di diddly I oh.
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
 
They marveled for a moment, then one said “we must be gone.  Let’s leave a present for our friend, before we move along”.  As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow.  Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman’s kilt did lift and show.
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh, ring di diddly I oh.
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show.
 
Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards a tree.  Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.  And in a startled voice he says to what’s before his eyes, “O lad I don’t know where you been but I see you’ve won first prize!”
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh, ring di diddly I oh.
Lad I don’t know where you’ve been but I see you won first prize!